Marriage, Relationships Gervase Kolmos Marriage, Relationships Gervase Kolmos

Stay or Go? Healing Relationship Patterns with Katarina Polonska

For this week’s podcast, I brought along a friend… high-performance relationship coach and gender dynamics social scientist, Katarina Polonska! In this episode, we discuss how to make the difficult decision of whether to stay or leave a relationship, how to navigate messy power struggles, and how to move from individualism to collaboration to build stronger, more connected relationships. Yep, we cover it all!

Watch this episode now to discover:

  • The #1 way to get clarity on whether you should stay or leave a relationship (hint: the result is win-win: you either transform the relationship or you leave and find someone who is more aligned)

  • The 6-month strategy to "clean up your side of the street" and find undeniable clarity

  • The blame game that often happens in the power struggle phase of a relationship when our wounds (aka: sneaky unaddressed demons) like to come out

  • The responsibility we have to try and understand our partner's needs and to hold them AND ours with equal importance

  • How we've moved away from being collaborative in relationships to being individualistic and believing our needs matter more than our partners

  • A mindset shift that can help you have a better relationship with your in-laws and extended family (even if you couldn't be more yin and yang!)

About Katarina Polonska:

Katarina is a high-performance relationship coach and gender dynamics social scientist who specializes in helping people make clear relationship decisions. Her expertise in attachment theory, behavioral science of attraction, and the cultural influences on relationships provides a unique framework for understanding and transforming relationship patterns.

For this week’s podcast, I brought along a friend… high-performance relationship coach and gender dynamics social scientist, Katarina Polonska! In this episode, we discuss how to make the difficult decision of whether to stay or leave a relationship, how to navigate messy power struggles, and how to move from individualism to collaboration to build stronger, more connected relationships. Yep, we cover it all!

Watch this episode now to discover:

  • The #1 way to get clarity on whether you should stay or leave a relationship (hint: the result is win-win: you either transform the relationship or you leave and find someone who is more aligned)

  • The 6-month strategy to "clean up your side of the street" and find undeniable clarity

  • The blame game that often happens in the power struggle phase of a relationship when our wounds (aka: sneaky unaddressed demons) like to come out

  • The responsibility we have to try and understand our partner's needs and to hold them AND ours with equal importance

  • How we've moved away from being collaborative in relationships to being individualistic and believing our needs matter more than our partners

  • A mindset shift that can help you have a better relationship with your in-laws and extended family (even if you couldn't be more yin and yang!)

About Katarina Polonska:

Katarina is a high-performance relationship coach and gender dynamics social scientist who specializes in helping people make clear relationship decisions. Her expertise in attachment theory, behavioral science of attraction, and the cultural influences on relationships provides a unique framework for understanding and transforming relationship patterns.

Follow Gervase

Featured
Marriage, Relationships
Stay or Go? Healing Relationship Patterns with Katarina Polonska
Marriage, Relationships

For this week’s podcast, I brought along a friend… high-performance relationship coach and gender dynamics social scientist, Katarina Polonska! In this episode, we discuss how to make the difficult decision of whether to stay or leave a relationship, how to navigate messy power struggles, and how to move from individualism to collaboration to build stronger, more connected relationships. Yep, we cover it all!

Watch this episode now to discover:

  • The #1 way to get clarity on whether you should stay or leave a relationship (hint: the result is win-win: you either transform the relationship or you leave and find someone who is more aligned)

  • The 6-month strategy to "clean up your side of the street" and find undeniable clarity

  • The blame game that often happens in the power struggle phase of a relationship when our wounds (aka: sneaky unaddressed demons) like to come out

  • The responsibility we have to try and understand our partner's needs and to hold them AND ours with equal importance

  • How we've moved away from being collaborative in relationships to being individualistic and believing our needs matter more than our partners

  • A mindset shift that can help you have a better relationship with your in-laws and extended family (even if you couldn't be more yin and yang!)

About Katarina Polonska:

Katarina is a high-performance relationship coach and gender dynamics social scientist who specializes in helping people make clear relationship decisions. Her expertise in attachment theory, behavioral science of attraction, and the cultural influences on relationships provides a unique framework for understanding and transforming relationship patterns.

Marriage, Relationships
Mindset, Body Intelligence
How Overfunctioning Disconnects You from Your Body and Your Life
Mindset, Body Intelligence

Does every task on your to-do list feel as equally urgent and like a threat to your survival? In this week's episode, Gervase dives deep into the pattern of over-functioning that keeps so many women stuck in perpetual stress. You'll learn why your nervous system gets locked in high alert and overdrive, even for unimportant tasks such as the laundry. And how this cycle of perpetual doing and achieving causes burnout and a never-ending sense of “psychotic urgency.”

And to help you rewire these patterns, Gervase shares practical steps such as how to reconnect to your body, slow down and create moments of calm even in the chaos of modern life.

Watch this episode now to discover:

  • The biggest indicator that you’re an over-functioner and how this “psychotic urgency” prevents you from being, enjoying and living life

  • Why your brain can't relax when it’s stuck in overfunctioning without signals from your body first (and how this creates a chicken-and-egg problem for over-functioners)

  • The real cost of constantly operating like a computer instead of honoring your HUMAN need for rhythm, rest and pleasure

  • A simple 4-step practice to interrupt the overfunctioning pattern when you feel yourself spiraling

  • The narcissistic-like belief many of us have that unknowingly depletes your energy (and how to contribute without sacrificing yourself)

  • How to create 30-second intervals throughout your day to tune into your body’s wisdom and gradually rewire your nervous system

Mindset, Body Intelligence
Mindset, Body Intelligence
I Can't Like Myself If I'm Who You Want Me To Be
Mindset, Body Intelligence

Tired of contorting yourself into a pretzel so you’re liked? Or so you don’t make others feel uncomfortable by being YOU? In this week’s episode (which is our first ever video podcast!), Gervase dives deep into why women have been conditioned to “perform” and prioritize being liked over being authentic. You’ll learn practical tools and a few hard-hitting truth bombs to help you break free from this hypervigilance so you can come home to yourself.

Watch this episode to discover:

  • Why you're taught that likeability is the gold standard for women (while men aren't held to the same expectation) 

  • What this hypervigilance on everybody else's comfort level is doing to your nervous system

  • The real cost of abandoning yourself to please others (hint: no amount of external validation can make up for the 3 things that you’re losing) 

  • Why other people's triggers about you are actually reflections of their OWN discomfort, and have nothing to do with you 

  • How to stop making yourself responsible for others' emotions and reclaim your power and agency

  • A practical exercise to transform your relationship with triggers so you can use them as data for self-discovery

  • The intoxicating freedom that comes when you focus on liking yourself rather than being liked by everyone else


Want Gervase’s personal guidance?

If you’d like to become who you’re really meant to be (instead of who they told you to be), you’re invited to join Gervase’s upcoming Inner Knowing Mastermind. During these 8 group calls, you’ll get an embodied sense of who you are, what’s right for you, and how to choose it.

But hurry: the first call starts April 30th - and to keep them intimate, there’s only a limited number of seats left!

Visit GervaseKolmos.com/inner-knowing-mastermind to reserve yours now.

Mindset, Body Intelligence
Read More
Marriage, Reconnection Gervase Kolmos Marriage, Reconnection Gervase Kolmos

How my body helped me make up with my husband

What if the key to breaking through relationship conflicts isn’t in the talking but in the listening… to your body? In this episode, Gervase reveals how shifting from mind-based strategies to somatic and soul approaches (read: dropping out of the mind and into the body) transformed a weeks-long rupture in her marriage into a moment of deep connection and repair. Listen in as she shares her struggles with “circling the drain” with repetitive arguments, how the mind can get in the way of reconciliation, and the power of the body in moving through relationship stalemates. Keep listening for questions you can ask yourself to explore the practice of dropping into your body wisdom, and for a powerful reminder that healing doesn’t always come from trying harder but from thinking differently

What if the key to breaking through relationship conflicts isn’t in the talking but in the listening… to your body? In this episode, Gervase reveals how shifting from mind-based strategies to somatic and soul approaches (read: dropping out of the mind and into the body) transformed a weeks-long rupture in her marriage into a moment of deep connection and repair. Listen in as she shares her struggles with “circling the drain” with repetitive arguments, how the mind can get in the way of reconciliation, and the power of the body in moving through relationship stalemates. Keep listening for questions you can ask yourself to explore the practice of dropping into your body wisdom, and for a powerful reminder that healing doesn’t always come from trying harder but from thinking differently.

Drop into your own unique body wisdom with a Somatic Soul Session:

Follow Gervase

Featured
Marriage, Relationships
Stay or Go? Healing Relationship Patterns with Katarina Polonska
Marriage, Relationships

For this week’s podcast, I brought along a friend… high-performance relationship coach and gender dynamics social scientist, Katarina Polonska! In this episode, we discuss how to make the difficult decision of whether to stay or leave a relationship, how to navigate messy power struggles, and how to move from individualism to collaboration to build stronger, more connected relationships. Yep, we cover it all!

Watch this episode now to discover:

  • The #1 way to get clarity on whether you should stay or leave a relationship (hint: the result is win-win: you either transform the relationship or you leave and find someone who is more aligned)

  • The 6-month strategy to "clean up your side of the street" and find undeniable clarity

  • The blame game that often happens in the power struggle phase of a relationship when our wounds (aka: sneaky unaddressed demons) like to come out

  • The responsibility we have to try and understand our partner's needs and to hold them AND ours with equal importance

  • How we've moved away from being collaborative in relationships to being individualistic and believing our needs matter more than our partners

  • A mindset shift that can help you have a better relationship with your in-laws and extended family (even if you couldn't be more yin and yang!)

About Katarina Polonska:

Katarina is a high-performance relationship coach and gender dynamics social scientist who specializes in helping people make clear relationship decisions. Her expertise in attachment theory, behavioral science of attraction, and the cultural influences on relationships provides a unique framework for understanding and transforming relationship patterns.

Marriage, Relationships
Mindset, Body Intelligence
How Overfunctioning Disconnects You from Your Body and Your Life
Mindset, Body Intelligence

Does every task on your to-do list feel as equally urgent and like a threat to your survival? In this week's episode, Gervase dives deep into the pattern of over-functioning that keeps so many women stuck in perpetual stress. You'll learn why your nervous system gets locked in high alert and overdrive, even for unimportant tasks such as the laundry. And how this cycle of perpetual doing and achieving causes burnout and a never-ending sense of “psychotic urgency.”

And to help you rewire these patterns, Gervase shares practical steps such as how to reconnect to your body, slow down and create moments of calm even in the chaos of modern life.

Watch this episode now to discover:

  • The biggest indicator that you’re an over-functioner and how this “psychotic urgency” prevents you from being, enjoying and living life

  • Why your brain can't relax when it’s stuck in overfunctioning without signals from your body first (and how this creates a chicken-and-egg problem for over-functioners)

  • The real cost of constantly operating like a computer instead of honoring your HUMAN need for rhythm, rest and pleasure

  • A simple 4-step practice to interrupt the overfunctioning pattern when you feel yourself spiraling

  • The narcissistic-like belief many of us have that unknowingly depletes your energy (and how to contribute without sacrificing yourself)

  • How to create 30-second intervals throughout your day to tune into your body’s wisdom and gradually rewire your nervous system

Mindset, Body Intelligence
Mindset, Body Intelligence
I Can't Like Myself If I'm Who You Want Me To Be
Mindset, Body Intelligence

Tired of contorting yourself into a pretzel so you’re liked? Or so you don’t make others feel uncomfortable by being YOU? In this week’s episode (which is our first ever video podcast!), Gervase dives deep into why women have been conditioned to “perform” and prioritize being liked over being authentic. You’ll learn practical tools and a few hard-hitting truth bombs to help you break free from this hypervigilance so you can come home to yourself.

Watch this episode to discover:

  • Why you're taught that likeability is the gold standard for women (while men aren't held to the same expectation) 

  • What this hypervigilance on everybody else's comfort level is doing to your nervous system

  • The real cost of abandoning yourself to please others (hint: no amount of external validation can make up for the 3 things that you’re losing) 

  • Why other people's triggers about you are actually reflections of their OWN discomfort, and have nothing to do with you 

  • How to stop making yourself responsible for others' emotions and reclaim your power and agency

  • A practical exercise to transform your relationship with triggers so you can use them as data for self-discovery

  • The intoxicating freedom that comes when you focus on liking yourself rather than being liked by everyone else


Want Gervase’s personal guidance?

If you’d like to become who you’re really meant to be (instead of who they told you to be), you’re invited to join Gervase’s upcoming Inner Knowing Mastermind. During these 8 group calls, you’ll get an embodied sense of who you are, what’s right for you, and how to choose it.

But hurry: the first call starts April 30th - and to keep them intimate, there’s only a limited number of seats left!

Visit GervaseKolmos.com/inner-knowing-mastermind to reserve yours now.

Mindset, Body Intelligence
Read More