I AM a Multidimensional Woman
Let’s be real: the world doesn’t need another “put-together” woman who’s mastered pretending. It needs you—whole, honest, luminous, messy, intuitive, powerful-as-hell you.
That's why we're bringing back this special episode -- straight from the Vault!
G goes all in—sharing raw personal stories and client transformations to show you the sacred evidence of what’s possible when you stop hiding parts of yourself. Light and dark. Joy and rage. Fire and softness. All of it belongs.
This episode is your reminder (or wake-up call) that being fully expressed isn’t a luxury—it’s your lifeline. Especially if you’re navigating mental health shifts, heavy relational dynamics, or the never-ending mental load of modern womanhood.
Here’s what you’ll walk away with:
What it actually means to lead with your heart
How to feel more grounded in your truth—even when life feels like a lot
Why emotional range = personal power
A new definition of “strength” that lets you breathe easier
A soul check-in: Are you living the Woman Way… or still shape-shifting?
Hit play now. Let it land. Let it stir you. Then share it with the women who need it. And if it moves you? Come join the Phoenix Revolution. We’re not here to play small anymore.
Get more support to create your masterpiece of a life
CREATRIX: a 4-day on-demand for the woman who wants to reconnect to and amplify the feminine magic and empowered mindset that allows you to easily create everything you want in your life.
You are not the same every single day. And while you can become outwardly successful with values like perfectionism, discipline and hustle—I can show you a better way. An easier way
Inside this four-day on-demand course, you'll learn:
What keeps us stuck in cycles of shame, self-doubt, over-doing and feeling disconnected from our whole Woman and how to connect back to Her.
The role conditioning plays and how to undo it.
How to use your Creatrix magic to let go of your death grip on control and invite in more joy, pleasure, connection, presence.
A process for breaking cycles of toxic narratives and life patterns.
An empowered mindset that allows you to trust yourself more.
And so much more…
More Free Resources
Download Gervase’s free gift, the Trust Yo’self hypnosis track: https://bit.ly/3xKuaPv
Connect with Gervase on Instagram: http://www.instagram.com/gervasekolmos
I AM a Multidimensional Woman
Episode Full Transcript
Hi friends, Gervase Kolmos here, the host of the Modern Phoenix podcast, and you are going to love today's solo episode. We're bringing it back from the vault. It's from a couple years ago, and it's called I Am a Multidimensional Woman, and I'm pretty picky about podcasts that I repub. Like, I'm not just trying to take any old thing and put it in here. I'm always checking in with the frequency and the energy and the inspiration and the intention that something was created with. This one is straight fire, so I think you're really going to like it. If there's any references that seem out of date, this was, I think I did it three years ago.
And because as I was listening to this, it inspired me to go back in to products I've created and kind of give a facelift, give a little glow up to one of my products called the Creatrix. Now the Creatrix, it's something I talk about in this podcast a lot, and it is now for sale. $97 gets you this four-day on-demand course. It is such a cool course. I remember that when I was creating this course, the idea was like dropping women out of their logic-bound brains and their limited mindsets of like who they are and what they're capable of and the right way to woman and dropping them like deep into their feminine magic and their souls. Like this is a very spiritual, energetic transmission from me. There's a lot of feminine energy. There's a lot about doing things the woman way. I give a lot of personal examples from my life. Like I really believe in the value of this mini course. So I really think if you didn't grab it when it was available three years ago, go ahead and grab it at the link in the show notes now.
There's four modules in the Creatrix. The first one is called I Am a Mind, Body, and Soul. The second one is I'm Here to Break Cycles. The third one is I Am Light and Dark. And the fourth one is I Am the One I've Been Waiting For. And I think those kind of speak for themselves. So I hope you enjoy I Am a Multidimensional Woman. I hope you remember that you are a multidimensional woman. I hope that you give the Creatrix four-day on-demand course a try even just to get you back connected to your truth, your power, your soul, your feminine energy, your magic.
It is exactly what it sounds like. Creatrix, the word itself to me, carries an energy that feels really activating to me. And I hope that that's what it can be for those of you listening. I think a lot of content for me that I purchase or listen to, it's almost like a transmission for me. It's like when I have forgotten something. It's like a Gervais in your pocket. It's like, you know, a sermon. It's whatever you need to reattune, realign to your magic. And the part of you you've forgotten. The part of you that's playing small, limited, like, you know, thinking within the realms of logic and forgets that you get to be a Creatrix. You get to be multidimensional, light and dark, mind, body and soul, breaking cycles, recreating yourself, evolving, phoenixing, and also the one you've been waiting for. The one with the power to change your life and make it what you hope it will be. Over and over and over. Up and around the spiral we go. If those of you who have been in my containers, you know I always teach about the spiral of evolution. And so, yeah. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this episode. And check out the Creatrix mini course.
I'm really excited to talk to you about today's topic. I'm going to have a solo episode for you coming in hot. And I really hope that I convey everything that is, like, bursting out of my heart and soul right now. Because this always happens when, you know, I know you guys know I'm a human design projector. So my energetic pattern is always sprint, rest, sprint, rest. And this is something that I took the time. It was very intentional that I really wanted to learn this about myself. Because when I got energy, when inspiration and creativity is flowing, it is like a well that will not dry up. And then when I feel complete, I really need to kind of go into a cave and hibernate.
And so some of you guys had messaged me on Instagram and been like, where have you been? And I just have been really kind of hibernating and focusing on my work and behind the scenes stuff that I've been preparing for the moment that we are at right now. And now I'm in a sprint. And in a sprint is when everything that I engage with, every piece of content I watch or read on social media, every client conversation leaves me bursting with something I want to say in response. It leaves me bursting with like a teachable moment and like a message, like a really important truth that I am pulling out from these conversations that I want to make sure that I share with you in a way that you can really hear it, that it can really land for you.
So anyway, as I am recording the videos and like mapping out all the content right now for the Creatrix, that starts May 9th and runs through May 12th. And the link to join us to register for this free mini courses live and people have started joining. And so I'm feeling the energy of this and I have so much I want to say about it because I'm in this Creatrix energy. And so I want to share with you some examples from a couple of client conversations I've had in the last 24 hours. And it's funny because these have shaped day one of the Creatrix of what you're going to learn inside this free training and the free video series that comes out for days one through three. It's like videos of me teaching you on these concepts. But I wanted to give you a snippet here on the podcast. You can kind of understand what this is about.
So if you're here, you likely consider yourself a modern woman. I know I do. I know all of my clients. There are some of them who come to me and they're like, I don't even know why I feel drawn to you, why I'm in your world. But like, I just feel like there's something that you are reflecting to me about myself that I get to have, or maybe a piece of myself that I've lost connection to that I want to learn from you. And I want to tell you, yes, you as a modern woman are so much more than you have been taught to believe. You as a modern woman are here to be a Creatrix. You are here to not only make babies, be productive, do, partner, create, but also to dream, make magic, to see things that other people don't understand, to see solutions to problems, to feel intuitively from your inner guidance system, your intuition, or your soul, or your heart, or whatever the fuck you want to call it. Answers to things in this modern world that you can't get from your logic brain.
So I want to talk to you about the truth that you are a multidimensional woman. I am a multidimensional woman. And it is really easy, particularly in this day and age, to look around, particularly with the internet, and see a woman and decide she's that kind of woman. You might look at me and say, oh, she's whatever. She's woo-woo, or she's, you know, wears lipstick, or she's the married type, or she's the suburbs type, or she's the jungle type, whatever. You might make a quick assumption based on just a tiny bit of data that you know about me and say, I'm this kind of woman. And it's totally fine. Like, we're all doing this. We're all making assumptions. But I want you to notice how much this limits your own ability as a modern woman to create the life that you want, to create the results that you want, to be all that you are.
Because when you decide, let's say, I'll use myself as an example, when I started this journey, so I've been a coach for eight years. So at the beginning of my journey, my business, sorry if this is recap for some of you, was called Shiny Happy Human. And there was periods in between each word because I was grappling with this reality that I was shiny and I was happy. But I also had this very human side to me that didn't quite fit in this identity that I had made for myself. And the problem with this was anytime I started experiencing very normal, natural feelings that were, quote unquote, dark, my depression, overwhelm, you know, the wounding, like my mother wound, any like mom guilt I started to feel or cognitive dissonance between the mother I was and the life I had and the one I wanted to be in a life I wanted to have. Any cognitive dissonance between shiny and happy Gervais started to mean something. I started to make it mean something about me.
And so what happened here is I forgot that as a multidimensional woman, I am darkness and light. We are all darkness and light, just like the earth, just like the moon, just like the seasons of nature. There is winter and there is spring and you need both. There is medicine for you in both. There is productivity and worth in both of those. And so what happened for me at the beginning of my coaching journey is I was starting to play with, oh, I am shiny, happy and human and talk more about the human stuff and the human side. But what was really happening is I was experiencing depression on and off, which I had carried on from early in my life. And I had a lot of shame about it. And I was hiding it. And I wasn't really talking about the depression. I was talking about, you know, the human anxiety. That's so popular. It's so mainstream to be anxious, right? I was talking about, you know, fights with my mom and whatever mom guilt and, you know, the kind of surface layer stuff. But I wasn't talking about the true source of my shame. The thing that I had really hidden from myself and from the world was my depression because I had a lot of feelings about it and I had a lot of stories about what that depression meant about me.
And the problem with this is that I wasn't bringing my full self to my life. I was allowing the shiny, happy version of me to sit at this table, to have a voice in my brand, to be present as a mother in my marriage, in my closest friendships. But the depression, like that was like, ooh, let's just tuck that away. Let's just like, you know, we'll get help for that, but we won't talk about it because how embarrassing, how weird that I have this darkness.
And I did this group hypnosis training for a friend of mine for her community. And one of the women on this call at the end of the training was sharing how hypnosis had been so powerful to help her drop out of her anxious, depressed mind into her body and how she had struggled with anxiety and depression for a really long time. And her question to me during the hot seat coaching part of this training was, how do I control my depression? How do I control my anxiety? And I was struck by her choice of words, by her need as a multidimensional, multifaceted, like magical woman to say, yeah, but this I need to control.
I want you to feel the energy of the word control. I want you to feel the intention of the word control. And maybe just for yourself, start to play with this idea that what's a word that feels better? Why does allow and accept and work with my depression, my anxiety feel so much better than I need to control it? This is the difference between my interpretation of the feminine and the masculine. It is not because we don't desire and crave as humans stability and structure and management of ourselves and our lives. But control serves a very different purpose than how do I work with this? How do I blend this into my life? Okay. So that's just something for you to notice. That's a different conversation about why as women, we have been brainwashed to believe we need to control the parts of ourselves that are not cookie cutter, that don't fit in this perfect little identity box that we have been handed. As modern women, this is what you get to be. This is what a good mother looks like. This is what a devoted wife, this is what a successful woman looks like. Just something to notice, something to bring your awareness to start being an active participant in the words that you use and consume and decide if that works for you or not. Okay. And we're going to kind of get into that in the creatrix.
But going back to the story, when this woman said this to me, I reflected back to her. I said, you know, I want to point out the use of the word control and for you to question that. And I want to share my experience with depression and share with you that my depression didn't lose its grip and control on my experience of my life until I stopped trying to hide it, shame it, or control it. And I just allowed it to be part of me. It's all me. The depression and the shiny, happy Gervais. It's all me. And that's okay. And I started to really challenge this notion that this depression didn't have something to teach me. That this depression didn't have something to bring to the dynamic, dimensional experience of me.
Because I know personally, when I am connecting with another person who is one-dimensional, who is only allowing the shiny and happy part of her to be present, I'm a little bored. I'm a little bored. That like GPS system inside of me as a magical, multidimensional woman that knows every human has depth and layers is kind of like, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding. Where's your dark? Where's the stuff that makes you interesting? Where have you been? What have you been through? What do you come from? What are you working for? What's hard for you? What are you learning? And for me, my depression had so much of that to teach me.
And from there, I'll share. I was with a VIP client on the phone yesterday. And she was having a similar experience with her darkness. And saying like, yeah, I just want to understand why I have these two versions of me. This version of me that I feel is like at her worst, like just crazy. She's just, you know, I hide her. I'm so embarrassed by her. I just feel like she just assumes she's bad. You know, she's the cause of everybody's problems. Like if there's a fight, it's my fault. And I should just, you know, remove myself from this situation. And I'm bad and it's all bad. And it's always going to be bad and it's bad. And then this other version of me that's like so normal, it's so calm, collected, grounded, healthy, thriving, vibrant.
And we started to bring in the same conversation. This like, what does it look like for you to, instead of controlling or hiding your darkness, to welcome her and allow her to be part of you? Instead of trying to figure out why do I have this? What trauma is this from? What wound? What happened to me? What if this is just a piece of you? What does it look like instead of hiding it for you to welcome this piece of you and say, okay, you get to be here. Okay. You're feeling a lot of feelings right now. Okay. What do you have to teach me? Let's talk about it. Let's bring this into my conversation with my partner, but not from a place of wobbly insecurity, from a place of, I know this is a part of me and she gets to be here. And how are we going to work through this? What is she trying to tell me?
You know, often the women who have like the women, especially the women that I work with are very much like me. It's like canaries in the coal mine. It's not that there's something wrong with you. It's that you are just breathing in the poison of a situation and you're not as tolerant. You know, your ability to withstand constant being controlled and put into a tiny little box is less. And that's good. That is like you are gifts to the world because we need people to call out the bullshit. That is modern women being told you are one dimensional and this is how you get to be. Right. And so I reflected back to this client. I was like, I just want you to know why I love you is not because of that other polarity of you that is, you know, happy and calm and grounded and composed. That is not what I love about you. I love that you are hungry to heal and explore and know more about yourself and to have deeper, more real and true relationships with your partner and your parents and your friends. I love that you are vulnerable and honest and wanting to go to the root of your life's experiences and hold yourself to this high standard of putting yourself at the center of your life. Putting yourself as I am responsible for creating what I desire in my life. I love your shadow and how it works and complements and dances with your light. I think that's what makes you you.
And I feel like the more that you can just bring all of you to every conversation, relationship, challenge, the less suffering you will have. The more you stop trying to control your depression and anxiety and just allow her to be here. Like stop making it such a big deal. Stop trying to figure out where she came from or why she's here and just say like, oh, this is who I am. Okay. What if that was just okay? What if what gets to be the standard for a woman is who you actually truly are? What if you bring her, all of her to your life from this place of total worthiness and trust and belief that like only then will you feel the most powerful version of yourself. Only then will you be able to solve the problems that have felt unsolvable.
As women, we have so many magical superpowers that we can't see that sometimes tell us so much more about what we need and how to quote unquote balance it all as a modern woman than our logic brain or a book or a blueprint ever could. Right. Right. We don't just get shit done. We don't just do and create and do the fucking dishes and the things that we put on our to-do list, the mental load. We are so much more than that. What about what we feel? What about what we sense? What about what we intuit? What about when we kind of just know in our bodies like, oh, it's time for me to change the kids clothes from winter to spring. This is like a really mundane example, but it's like, what about when we just kind of know it's time for a change for my kids school? Oh, it's just, it's time for me to start pouring into myself more. I'm out of the season of hard. I'm out of the trenches. Oh, it's time for me to whatever. The things that we know, not because somebody told us, not because we read it in a book, not because Gervais said so, because we feel it from the wisdom of our soul, from our beings, because we are creatrixes.
And these layers of light and dark, these multidimensional layers that we're going to get into in this training, but like for today, just let's talk about the shadow and the light. That is part of like the composting process of our life, which as cycling women mirrors nature. And how does nature just know when it's time to bloom or when it's time to compost, when it's time to lose the leaves and when it's time to grow new leaves? How does nature know when it's time to rain? Like it just fucking knows. Of course, there's like the science behind it, but it's like, how do the animals into it when it's time to fly? Like there's so much magic in nature and in the world and our bodies and our beings as women mimic, mirror these cycles and knowings of nature.
But we aren't even allowing ourselves to tap into that, to be aware of it, to see it, to make it count just as much as so-and-so's, what she said makes a happy household. What so-and-so says makes you a good mom. What this parenting technique and this organizational blah, blah, blah. And I'll end with this example, like another conversation I had with a client this morning. She was talking about this book that I'm sure lots of you have read and heard about, Eve Rodsky's book about the mental load. Fair play, fair play. And if you haven't read this book, I haven't read it because I kind of talked to enough people about it, heard about it, and I kind of ascertained like what it was about. And I feel like I got this.
And this client was sharing how in this book, there's all of these cards. I don't know. I'm just going to, I'm going to do this disservice, but I'm going to try. Basically, everything that a woman carries in her mind, you put it on a card so you can see the task. And then you can bring that card to your relationship and lay it on the table and talk about it with your partner and even out the load. And one of these cards is like the unicorn card that gets to be like, what is the thing you're doing for you? Where's your joy? Where's your whatever? How are you like having time for fun? How are you making time for your marriage? And I understand that most modern women resonate with this system. I understand that modern women are carrying such a mental load that feels like they just don't know how to do it all without burning the fuck out and being resentful, anxious, divorced, like really not having time for themselves, not feeling space. I understand that. And I love that they exist.
And I also want to point out. And I said this to this client. So I think that's a lot of people that I'm going to be taking all of the anxiety of women, validating it, making it manifest in the physical form and using that as the way that you communicate your needs to your partner, which to me takes all of the magic, all of the intuition, all of the opportunity for true heart-to-heart connection. And not, here's what's on my to-do list. Between partnerships, between partners, and vice versa. And when women are taking on so much of this mental load, we need to talk less about, well, what's on your to-do list? And let's put it on cards and let's balance it out. And more about, what's on your to-do list? What's on your to-do list? Oh, I feel like I'm in a season that requires this of me.
What about strengthening not your ability to manifest your anxiety into a to-do list that you then share with your partner, but more about strengthening that other muscle that we're not strengthening, that other layers, the other dimensions of us, the things that we feel and know that we desire. And talking about your desires and talk about that with your partner. Because there's going to be seasons where you do the dishes every day and there's going to be seasons where he does or she does. And that's not what this is about. The mental load is a symptom of our disconnection to ourselves. The mental load is a symptom of our inability to accept that we are more than our productivity, that we are more than our clean house, and we are more than our perfectly behaved and dressed children. The mental load is a byproduct of our inability to accept and allow ourselves as multidimensional women who are both light and dark, who both get shit done and feel and sense in our hearts and intuitions other things that need our attention.
And if we can't feel and sense and intuit from our souls, like where we desire to be and what we need to compost out of our life. And if we're only over here in the logic brain, in the light, look, I am grounded and composed and I've got it all together. We're missing the opportunity for deeper connection, deeper transformation, deeper understanding of self, better conversations, truer to-do lists, truer partnerships that aren't about like, are we doing things equally, but are we tending to each other as partners? Not are we making time for a date night? Like what's in your heart right now, in this season of your life, what's true for you?
Because I promise you the times when I've been carrying my partner on my back, but then we sit down and he takes the time to be with, be present and hear me and see me and hold space for my full multidimensional woman. I don't fucking care about the mental load. I feel held. I feel held emotionally. And that matters so much more. And if we're not creating a conversation and a narrative and an awareness that we are so much more than this one dimensional, oh, well, it's all got to get done. Somebody's got to do it. Who's got to do the kids? And if we're not creating an awareness and a culture that leaves space for the depth and the winter seasons and the hardness and the darkness and the things we can't see and the things about a woman that make her herself, like all of us, if we're not bringing our full embodied womanhood to every area of our life, the world is missing out. Our partnership is never going to be what it could be. Our life, our careers, our dreams, our mothering, our experience of our life is never going to be what it could be because we're missing the darkness, the compost stage.
And what I'm relating here is like your darkness gets like when it's like soil that's tilled, right? It's like it's turned into compost. And then something new and beautiful grows from that, that you couldn't have even imagined. Like again, Disney reference, if you've seen Encanto, which like I fucking hope you have. It's like when the girl who does the planting, she's like, I want to plant something new. It's like, we know you can make roses. We get it. Roses are pretty. Everybody likes the roses. They're perfect and symmetrical and blah, blah, blah. And it's like, what if you could take all that anger and resentment that you're feeling and like work through it and like channel it into something? And then what would grow? And then she starts to grow these like jungle plants and these cacti. And she feels so alive. It's like that aliveness.
And when we bring our full selves to our womanhood, when we accept and allow, instead of control and constrict and balance out and, you know, do our checkbook of, okay, is everybody, is it all even? Is it all fair? And have I done everything that other people told me I should do? That's when we get to feel the most alive, the most us, the most fully, like I go through my life now with being a person who resonated so much with depression. And I'm like, oh, that shame and judgment has been composted into power, into the me you see here who can talk about it and just be like, feel nothing but power. Feel nothing but trust that that was medicine for me. And there was lessons for me. And I grew from that. A new version of me grew from that composting. And it all belonged. It didn't come from controlling it and hiding it, from being perfect or being one way. It came from making space for all of me, all of my womanhood.
And I hope that this gives you permission, maybe even just awareness of where you might not be doing this in your life to do the same, to bring this aliveness, this intention for aliveness for versions of you you don't even know exist into every area of your life. And trust that like, that is something that only you know how to do. And it only happens when you tap into not just like your organization, time management bullshit. That's fine. We don't have a problem with that. Like we don't have a problem with that. Look around. When you tap into this other part of your feminine being, the part that mimics nature, that mimics mother earth, that mimics the moon, you work in cycles, sprint, rest, sprint, rest, and you don't panic about the rest period. You just shore up your energy. You just know you drink your fucking water. You take your vitamins. You know, you're going to sprint again soon. And when you do, if you're like me, it's going to be like, boom. Create tricks time.
If you haven't signed up for the create tricks, I am inviting you to join us. It's four days. It's totally free. The link is gervasekolmos.com/creatrix. C-R-E-A-T-R-I-X. It's going to be, I've never done a free training this way before, and I'm so fucking excited about it. It's going to be so powerful, so potent, and it's totally free. I can't wait to see you inside there. The last day, day four is this live group call training, which starts with a guided hypnosis and a rapid fire coaching. It's going to be so good.
And the core of this training, the core of being a creatrix is accepting and seeing and acknowledging that you are a multidimensional woman. You came here to be all of it, to be more, so much more than you think. You've been brainwashed to think you only get to be this small, this tiny version of you that society would allow. You are so much more. There is so much depth and layers and power and ideas and creativity and problem solving and magic in you. I can't wait to help you unlock it.
Okay, that was it. What did you think? Did you enjoy it? I would love to hear from you. Message me on Instagram. That's the place I like to play at @gervasekolmos. And let me know what you thought. Where do you stand on this whole like being multidimensional nonsense? Are you like, yes, I feel you. I want this, but I don't know how. Or are you like, yes, I am already in the fire, Khaleesi-ing with you. You know, I find myself at all stages of this journey at every turn around the spiral.
So I hope that you enjoyed that older episode. And again, check out the Creatrix four-day on-demand course. It's $97, which is like seriously a steal. And it is such powerful, empowering content that you can listen to whenever you want, like this podcast and have forever. I love you so much. Please share this podcast episode with somebody that you think could use the Gervais church, the sermon, the return to their multidimensionality and their magic. And thank you so, so much for being here and spending your precious time with me. I will see you back here in two weeks. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.