I sometimes feel like an alien in my own life
Hey fellow phoenix,
I sometimes feel like an alien in my own life.
It’s weird, because on paper? I’m SO normal. As Sarah Jenks once said on an old podcast, “I’ve got two arms and one leg here in a normal life.”
The rest of me? She’s somewhere else. In a spiritual realm. Or the underworld. Or the clouds.
I’d say about 90% of the people I love most in this world are nothing like me — and 100% “normal.” They desire and do and dream about normal things: bigger houses, retirement plans, the next family vacation. They go to church or book club, travel with the same people to beautiful all-inclusive resorts. They vacation to reward themselves for how hard they work. Or to take a break from normal life.
To my logical mind, this makes sense.
To my logical mind, I should probably be more like these responsible people.
But deep inside? I’m bored.
Not because it’s not enough — just because it’s not my version of enough.
When I was 20, I went to Europe with my dad’s credit card and a friend I don’t even speak to anymore. We shopped at Zara, saw the Eiffel Tower, took a canal ride in Venice… and honestly? I barely remember most of it. I wasn’t really in my body. It was thrilling in the way things you shouldn’t be able to afford — or a fling with a hot guitarist (did that too 😜) — are thrilling at that age.
My first trip to Peru two years later? Completely different.
Cells changed. Mind, body, spirit immersion. I wasn’t escaping or taking a break — I was meeting myself. I was grieving my brother. Remembering what life actually is. Returning to something essential.
I can still feel the expansive, healing power of that trip in my body 20 years later as I write this. 🥹
I love to party. I love to relax. I love pleasure and fun and being fully alive. But if it’s the same vanilla thing over and over? It doesn’t stick. 🥴
My perfect trip now is a mix of culture, nature, connection, mindfulness, depth, joy — and probably things I can’t even name yet.
I want travel that makes me feel something.
That wakes up my curiosity and adventure — the me that exists beyond my titles.
That feels like a sacred prayer and a wild party.
Deep and soulful and luxe and comfortable.
And maybe that makes me an unrealistic, irresponsible alien. A terrible mother or wife for believing it’s not just okay, but necessary, to step away from my family sometimes — to remember who I am now, not just who I’ve been.
Or maybe… I’ve just done enough work to know what I want. To honor what lights me up. To choose it — even when it feels weird.
And maybe some of you feel this way too.
Maybe this email is a flare going out to my fellow wild, soulful party girls who want permission — and proof — that you’re not weird for wanting something different than most people you love. That you don’t have to burn your life down or abandon your relationships to meet your own needs.
If there’s a new path quietly carving itself inside your heart — a path of remembering your wholeness, all the dimensions of you — maybe you and I will be walking side by side one of these days.
Which brings me to March 18–22, 2026.
The Spring Equinox — the moment the light returns to meet the dark. A threshold. A turning point. A time ancient cultures marked as rebirth, balance, and emergence after a long winter of holding it all together.
Eight to twelve incredible women, me, and my co-host Mandy Burstein, gathering in a luxury jungle villa in Tulum — not to escape our lives, but to cross a threshold together.
And this… is part of why Tulum.
Here’s what I know: This isn’t about becoming someone new. It’s about remembering who you’ve always been underneath the conditioning to be “normal.” About creating a shift that lasts — not a disembodied escape you recover from once you’re home.
That kind of remembering doesn’t happen on a beach chair with a margarita (though honestly, I love a moment like that). It happens when women give themselves permission to just be — in ceremony, in sisterhood, in the jungle. That’s when everything shifts.
So here’s what we’re doing:
Daily women’s circles that feel like dropping all the way in.
Hot-seat coaching that cracks you open in the best way.
A fire ceremony to release what was never yours to carry.
Swimming in ancient cenotes like the mermaid you forgot you were.
Waking with gentle movement and deep connection to nature.
Plus cacao ceremonies, a private chef, all the luxury details your Type-A nervous system appreciates — and a sisterhood that will change everything.
If you’re curious — even just a little — book a discovery call here.
This isn’t a sales call. It’s a space to feel into whether this experience is actually right for you, without having to decide anything yet. You'll leave clearer than you came in.
And if you already know it’s a “holy shit, yes”…
Either way, I see you — the woman who’s been blending in and acting normal while quietly craving more depth, more connection, more you.
Gervase
P.S. I extended the early rate through January 14th because I know how much time it can take to feel a decision like this — especially for women who are used to talking themselves out of what they want. If it helps, you can use EARLY-TULUM-SOLO or EARLY-TULUM-SHARED to save 10%.
And if you miss it? Trust this: your remembering is still worth the full investment.
Meet Yourself 👇🏻💫
MARCH 18-22, 2026 // TULUM, MEXICO
A deep, luxurious, party-meets-prayer retreat experience for women in the jungle of Tulum, Mexico.