the masks are costing you everything
Hi friend!
You’ve worked your ass off to get where you are.
The most capable woman in the room. The one who has her shit together. The one who doesn’t need anyone’s help, thank you very much.
And it WORKED. You got the career. The respect. The life you built with your own two hands.
But here’s the thing no one tells you…
What got you there won’t get you here.
The identity you needed to succeed at work? The high-performing, independent, always-articulate version of yourself? She’s sabotaging your love life.
Because in your relationship, the masks have to come off. The performance has to stop.
And that terrifies you.
You were taught that being THIS version of yourself—the capable one, the strong one, the one who doesn’t need anything—would protect you from vulnerability. But what if he sees the real you—messy, contradictory, actually needing love and belonging? What if you’re not enough without the armor?
So you keep performing. Keep proving. Keep being the capable one.
And you keep finding proof that you can’t be your real self… HERE. gestures to you and your person
I see this pattern constantly with my clients. I meannn, I lived it myself.
Good news? This is easy to reconfigure once you know how.
Better news? I’m showing you exactly how to do it tonight.
Tonight at 8pm EST, I’m going live on Substack for a free lightning coaching session called Untrigger Yourself.
We’re diving into:
How to catch yourself mid-spiral in real time
How to stop making HIS behavior mean something about YOU
How to rewire the stories that are keeping you stuck
Bring your real relationship triggers. The ones you’ve got whole stories about. The ones that have you so focused on what HE’S doing, you’re ignoring your truth altogether. 😅
I’ll coach them live.
This is free, casual, and open to everyone. I’ll be on camera; you won’t.
👉 [Click here to join live Monday at 8pm EST]
If you’re not already on Substack, you’ll be prompted to subscribe (free, takes 10 seconds). Download the app and turn on notifications so you don’t miss it. (Or you can just join from a desktop; no app.)
See you tonight?
XOXO,
Gervase
P.S. I may or may not have drawn QUITE the diagram for my husband the other night explaining how triggers work… which may or may not have sparked this entire idea. 😂