It's OK To Press The "Easy" Button
What if the key to getting hard tasks done when you’re overwhelmed (or just bored!) isn’t willpower—but more pleasure? This week, Gervase shares how to work with your nervous system by infusing your daily life with pleasure and intentionality when you want to give up.
This isn’t about numbing out or pushing through. It’s about tending to yourself so you can stay in the game instead of burning out or bailing when things get tough.
Hit play now to discover:
The kitchen sink saga that sparked this episode, and why it’s Gervase’s North Star when it comes to her business, parenting and I getting sh*tty tasks done (aka: never-ending admin!)
The ONE question to ask yourself when you want to bail on a hard task so you can stay in the game without burning out
Why adding just 1% more pleasure can ease overwhelm, help you get the thing done, and soothe your nervous system
How intention anchors you when motivation is low and pressure is high
How to stay in the “uncomfortable middle” when you want to quit your job (and burn it all down!)
If you’re tired of grinding your way through resistance (or giving up and regretting it later) and you’d like to adopt a more joyful, soul-honoring way of being during these moments, this short and simple episode is for you.
Stay or Go? Healing Relationship Patterns with Katarina Polonska
For this week’s podcast, I brought along a friend… high-performance relationship coach and gender dynamics social scientist, Katarina Polonska! In this episode, we discuss how to make the difficult decision of whether to stay or leave a relationship, how to navigate messy power struggles, and how to move from individualism to collaboration to build stronger, more connected relationships. Yep, we cover it all!
Watch this episode now to discover:
The #1 way to get clarity on whether you should stay or leave a relationship (hint: the result is win-win: you either transform the relationship or you leave and find someone who is more aligned)
The 6-month strategy to "clean up your side of the street" and find undeniable clarity
The blame game that often happens in the power struggle phase of a relationship when our wounds (aka: sneaky unaddressed demons) like to come out
The responsibility we have to try and understand our partner's needs and to hold them AND ours with equal importance
How we've moved away from being collaborative in relationships to being individualistic and believing our needs matter more than our partners
A mindset shift that can help you have a better relationship with your in-laws and extended family (even if you couldn't be more yin and yang!)
About Katarina Polonska:
Katarina is a high-performance relationship coach and gender dynamics social scientist who specializes in helping people make clear relationship decisions. Her expertise in attachment theory, behavioral science of attraction, and the cultural influences on relationships provides a unique framework for understanding and transforming relationship patterns.
How Overfunctioning Disconnects You from Your Body and Your Life
Does every task on your to-do list feel as equally urgent and like a threat to your survival? In this week's episode, Gervase dives deep into the pattern of over-functioning that keeps so many women stuck in perpetual stress. You'll learn why your nervous system gets locked in high alert and overdrive, even for unimportant tasks such as the laundry. And how this cycle of perpetual doing and achieving causes burnout and a never-ending sense of “psychotic urgency.”
And to help you rewire these patterns, Gervase shares practical steps such as how to reconnect to your body, slow down and create moments of calm even in the chaos of modern life.
Watch this episode now to discover:
The biggest indicator that you’re an over-functioner and how this “psychotic urgency” prevents you from being, enjoying and living life
Why your brain can't relax when it’s stuck in overfunctioning without signals from your body first (and how this creates a chicken-and-egg problem for over-functioners)
The real cost of constantly operating like a computer instead of honoring your HUMAN need for rhythm, rest and pleasure
A simple 4-step practice to interrupt the overfunctioning pattern when you feel yourself spiraling
The narcissistic-like belief many of us have that unknowingly depletes your energy (and how to contribute without sacrificing yourself)
How to create 30-second intervals throughout your day to tune into your body’s wisdom and gradually rewire your nervous system
I Can't Like Myself If I'm Who You Want Me To Be
Tired of contorting yourself into a pretzel so you’re liked? Or so you don’t make others feel uncomfortable by being YOU? In this week’s episode (which is our first ever video podcast!), Gervase dives deep into why women have been conditioned to “perform” and prioritize being liked over being authentic. You’ll learn practical tools and a few hard-hitting truth bombs to help you break free from this hypervigilance so you can come home to yourself.
Watch This Episode To Discover:
Why you're taught that likeability is the gold standard for women (while men aren't held to the same expectation)
What this hypervigilance on everybody else's comfort level is doing to your nervous system
The real cost of abandoning yourself to please others (hint: no amount of external validation can make up for the 3 things that you’re losing)
Why other people's triggers about you are actually reflections of their OWN discomfort, and have nothing to do with you
How to stop making yourself responsible for others' emotions and reclaim your power and agency
A practical exercise to transform your relationship with triggers so you can use them as data for self-discovery
The intoxicating freedom that comes when you focus on liking yourself rather than being liked by everyone else
Want Gervase’s personal guidance?
If you’d like to become who you’re really meant to be (instead of who they told you to be), you’re invited to join Gervase’s upcoming Inner Knowing Mastermind. During these 8 group calls, you’ll get an embodied sense of who you are, what’s right for you, and how to choose it.
But hurry: the first call starts April 30th - and to keep them intimate, there’s only a limited number of seats left!
Visit GervaseKolmos.com/inner-knowing-mastermind to reserve yours now.
What is Inner Knowing, And Why Will It Change Your Life
The pressure to be more, do more, have more is exhausting, but what if the real problem isn’t you… but the unrealistic expectations you’ve internalized?
In this week’s episode, G unpacks the invisible forces keeping women stuck in a cycle of never enough, and reveals why Inner Knowing is the path to authentic happiness and fulfillment.
She’ll show you how to tune into your own body and soul wisdom, how to identify when you are being led by external pressures, and how to trust your inner compass to make empowered, aligned choices.
What You’ll Learn in This Episode:
What Inner Knowing is and why it’s so important for modern women
How to start listening to the body and soul’s signals for easier, more aligned decision making
How to break free from external expectations and step into your true essence
Practical tips on how to trust intuition in everyday life
The power of making decisions based on what feels right, not what looks right
Our souls are literally begging us to pay attention to our inner truth- and how we feel - instead of who we “should” be, how we are “supposed” to act and who they told us we are.
If you’d like to learn how to access your inner knowing - anytime and anywhere - join G in her Inner Knowing Mastermind.
This powerful 8-week experience will unlock the wisdom of your body and soul, and help you create a life aligned with your deepest truth.
Sessions begin April 30th, and spots are limited. Act now and learn how to free yourself from the pressure, perfectionism and “pushing through” of modern life.
It’s time you live a life that lights you up from the inside out.
Go here to enroll and get more details: https://www.gervasekolmos.com/inner-knowing-mastermind
You Can’t “Out-think” Your Triggered Body
Have you ever found yourself completely overwhelmed, frustrated, or stuck in a cycle you can't seem to break? You may feel your body tense up, your mind race, or feel paralyzed by indecision. You know you’re triggered, but you’re not so sure what to do next.
In this episode of The Modern Phoenix, Gervase dives into what it actually takes to move through a trigger, not just from a logical, intellectual place, but through a somatic and soul strategy that allows you to shift your nervous system and return to a state of clarity, empowerment, and ease. This is not your basic “identifying triggers” surface-level episode. This is about integration - learning to recognize, resource, and regulate yourself in real-time so you stop spinning in mental loops and start embodying a new way of being. Listen in as Gervase shares how to move from an activated state into a place of true self-knowing and safety, so that the next time a trigger hits, you’ll know exactly how to navigate it.
If you're tired of being hijacked by your triggers and ready to move through them with ease, grace, and actual solutions, hit play now. And if you’re feeling called to go deeper, Gervase’s Inner Knowing Mastermind is now open! Check out the link below for more info.
REPLAY: A Woman Who Has Her Own Back
Have you ever felt like something in your life, career, or relationships isn’t working, and instead of questioning the system, you immediately assume you must be the problem? That there’s something wrong with you, that you’re not trying hard enough, that if you were just different, everything would fall into place?
This episode of The Modern Phoenix is a wake-up call. Gervase shares a raw and powerful riff from the vault - straight from a live coaching session. She dives into the deep-rooted conditioning that convinces women to gaslight themselves, unpacks how the systems we exist in, like patriarchy, capitalism, and generational conditioning, keep us in a cycle of self-doubt and self-abandonment. Most importantly, she offers a different perspective: what if your emotions, your overwhelm, your desire for change aren’t personal failures, but signals that the ecosystem around you needs to shift? If you’re ready to reframe your inner dialogue, reclaim your discernment, and trust yourself enough to create the ripple effect that leads to real, systemic change, listen in now.
It's Not Your Job To Make Other People Happy
How often do you hold back, soften your words, or twist yourself into knots just to make sure no one gets upset? Whether it’s navigating a tough conversation with your partner, setting boundaries with your kids, or simply taking time for yourself without guilt, many of us have been conditioned to prioritize other people’s comfort over our own truth. In this episode of The Modern Phoenix, Gervase is sharing a behind-the-scenes look at a live coaching call from The Phoenix Revolution, where she explored the deeply ingrained belief that your peace depends on everyone else being okay.
If you’ve ever found yourself walking on eggshells, silencing your needs, or measuring success by how well you "land the plane" in a tough conversation, this episode is for you. You’ll hear real coaching, real breakthroughs, and a powerful shift in how we approach boundaries, self-trust, and standing in our truth, even when it’s uncomfortable.
Why Women Don't Like to Cry (And Why You Should Start)
Have you ever been told that you’re too emotional? Or do you avoid crying at all costs because you don’t want to look weak? In this week’s episode, Gervase flips this narrative upside down, offering a powerful reframe that reveals why crying is actually a profound act of healing, as well as an opportunity for connection and growth. Listen in as she breaks down the societal indoctrinations and personal barriers that make us resistant to feeling our emotions, as well as the physiological and intuitive benefits of crying, making a case for why embracing your tears is a radical and necessary practice.
My mental health story & what therapy couldn’t “fix”
When it’s deeper than talk therapy, it needs a mind-body-soul approach. This week on the Modern Phoenix, Gervase shares insights from her mental health journey turned full-blown personal evolution. Listen in as she opens up about how transitioning from mind-based therapy to soul and body-centered practices like focalizing, somatic healing, and nervous system regulation opened new paths to healing and inner transformation. As she recounts pivotal moments that shaped her understanding of herself, she shares the profound power of trauma responses, intuition, inner child healing, and more, inviting you to look beyond conventional therapy practices and consider your own unique path to healing.
Matrescence: Does becoming a mother change… everything? with Jessie Harrold
The transition into motherhood reshapes not just our roles, but our very beings. In this episode, Gervase Kolmos sits down with Jessie Harrold, author of Mothershift, to explore the transformative journey known as matrescence. Jessie shares her insights on how becoming a mother can be both a radical shift and a rite of passage filled with growth, challenges, and deep self-discovery. Together, they discuss the complexities of identity shifts, societal expectations, and the importance of holding space for both the beauty and the struggle of parenting.
Keep listening as Gervase and Jessie cover the balance between rejecting and emulating our own upbringing, explore how motherhood pushes us to hold paradoxes and embrace nuance, and discuss how it transforms not only how we parent but also how we grow as individuals.
A Mind, Body, Soul Rest for 2025
Navigate the demands of the new year with greater ease, intention, and authenticity. In this week’s grounding episode, Gervase invites you to reflect, reset, and reconnect with the cycles of nature around (and within) you. She explores the effect of the Winter Solstice, our changing assignments for this season, and discusses how aligning with nature’s rhythm can help us navigate the demands of modern life with ease. Gervase shares her insights on living as a “modern woman on an ancient Earth,” and how tapping into the wisdom of your body and soul can unlock a new sense of clarity and coherence. Listen in as she guides you through a grounding exercise, sharing tools to help you slow down, refuel, and return to your life feeling aligned, resourced, and ready to create magic.
How my body helped me make up with my husband
What if the key to breaking through relationship conflicts isn’t in the talking but in the listening… to your body? In this episode, Gervase reveals how shifting from mind-based strategies to somatic and soul approaches (read: dropping out of the mind and into the body) transformed a weeks-long rupture in her marriage into a moment of deep connection and repair. Listen in as she shares her struggles with “circling the drain” with repetitive arguments, how the mind can get in the way of reconciliation, and the power of the body in moving through relationship stalemates. Keep listening for questions you can ask yourself to explore the practice of dropping into your body wisdom, and for a powerful reminder that healing doesn’t always come from trying harder but from thinking differently.
Breaking the Cycle of Fear-Based Parenting with Wendy Snyder
In this episode, Gervase shines a light on the pervasive belief: “I have to say or do the right thing, or they’ll be mad.” Gervase explores how this belief can not only trap you in cycles of self-doubt, stress, and rumination but also leads to self-abandonment. Join her as she shares insights into how the mind can mask trauma with obsession, frustration, and the relentless need to “get it right.” Keep listening to hear how you find the unique somatic soul strategy you need to bring yourself out of overwhelming obsession and into clarity, self-honoring, and groundedness.
I have to say the right thing or they’ll be mad
In this episode, Gervase shines a light on the pervasive belief: “I have to say or do the right thing, or they’ll be mad.” Gervase explores how this belief can not only trap you in cycles of self-doubt, stress, and rumination but also leads to self-abandonment. Join her as she shares insights into how the mind can mask trauma with obsession, frustration, and the relentless need to “get it right.” Keep listening to hear how you find the unique somatic soul strategy you need to bring yourself out of overwhelming obsession and into clarity, self-honoring, and groundedness.
It’s not okay for me to make mistakes
This week, Gervase takes on a limiting belief that surfaces in the lives of many modern women: it’s not okay to be wrong. Learn why this belief leads to fear, power struggles and a lack of authenticity in your life. You’ll discover why ruminating and gaslighting are trauma-based activation responses, and how leaning into body wisdom and the practice of resourcing can give you exactly what you need - the permission to be human, which will power a sense of ease, flow and creativity in your life.
Meet The Modern Phoenix
Welcome to the Modern Phoenix Podcast! Born from the ashes of the “It’s All Me” podcast, The Modern Phoenix is here to guide, inspire, and empower you to rise into the truest, most powerful version of yourself. In this episode, Gervase shares the heart behind the podcast rebrand, what it means to be a “modern woman,” and how the Phoenix archetype offers a powerful guide for personal evolution.
Keep listening to hear how knowing and choosing yourself despite our social conditioning, trusting your inner wisdom, and making bold choices are key to becoming who you were meant to be.
Why Permission is Where Healing Begins
On this week’s solo episode of the IAM podcast, Gervases seizes inspiration from a recent client interaction, discussing how patterns of disempowerment have left many women with the sneaky survival strategy of hyper-vigilance around the needs of others, and how permission, resource, and pleasure can allow us to bring more regulated versions of ourselves forward to meet life’s initiations. Listen in for questions that will help you begin to uncover what gives you life, what’s blocking you from your pleasure, and how you can accept permission to wake up and reclaim who you are instead of who you think everyone needs you to be.
PANDAS: Biggest Lessons Learned One Year Later
This week on the IAM podcast, after a full year of navigating her daughter’s PANDAS diagnosis,Gervase shares her lived experience of integrating relationship, resource, pleasure, and advocacy into her approach to life and her daughter’s health. Listen in as Gervase discusses the importance of finding your “lighthouse” relationship in stressful times, how to choose your truth even when it goes against what everyone else is doing, the cyclical nature of life, and her personal journey with food and her family’s health.
Break the Burnout Cycle
Join Gervase this week on the It’s All Me podcast as she shares how important the practice of resourcing has become in her life, especially in times of stress, like her recent bout with Covid during “Back to School’ season. Listen in as she shares why resourcing moment to moment is actually a regenerative practice that calms the nervous system, and how it differs from the typical American way of resourcing that leads to resentment and frustration. Keep listening to hear how this widely underestimated way of womaning allows you to be more efficient with your time and energy, so that you can feel better as you live, rather than collapsing in burnout and despair on your way to “better things.”